Anger, Deal With It

For me holding in the pain tends to turn to anger.  Mostly at myself for failing or even letting something get the best of me.  One time I was dealing with something very difficult and it took all that was in me to contain the anger. The person I was dealing with was amazed on how well I contained myself.  He mentioned most people they have dealt with in similar situations would be cursing at them.  As a believer of God and His word I fully understand what we have been taught and what scriptures say. But, we need to be honest here, this is something hard for our human nature to deal with.  When we are done wrong or feel like we have been disrespected, we tend to let our anger take control.  We act out or say things we know we should not say. Even if we feel we are right or just in our anger.

Psa_37:8  Cease from anger, and forsake wrath; do not fret yourself to do evil.
Pro_15:1  A soft answer turns away wrath, but grievous words stir up anger.

Pro_15:18  A wrathful man stirs up fighting, but one slow to anger calms fighting.

Pro_16:32  He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit is better than he who takes a city. 

I know, letting our anger have control often gives us self gratification for the moment, but the damage it can cause is often something that can not be repaired. Broken spirits and broken hearts and so much more. I am not saying we shouldn't get angry at all, I am saying I think we need to let it out but not lose control. In the end we need to deal with all the pain and anger we have. In the end a part of dealing with it is letting go of our anger and frustrations and let God do a work in us.

Mat 5:44  But I say to you, Love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who despite-fully use you and persecute you, 
Mat 5:45  so that you may become sons of your Father in Heaven. For He makes His sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust. 

Eph 4:31 Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and tumult and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice.
Eph 4:32 And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake has forgiven you.
Eph 4:31 Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and tumult and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice.
Eph 4:32 And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake has forgiven you.

Passion and anger can often be irrational.  It's like what we see in our current political scene today, we see people who are voting out of anger and their passions. Believe me I get it. Yet that does not mean they are making informed logical decisions.  It’s like when I was growing up I had 3 younger brothers. We loved playing all-star wrestling. We were all different but when playing we were all in.  The oldest of my tree brothers was somewhat passive aggressive, at times more passive.  This may sound mean, but when I was younger we truly did all those pro wrestling moves, at times with painful results.  Well there were days my passive brother was not in the mood to wrestle, but the rest of us would not stand for it.  So, many times to get him to wrestle with us, I would sit on his chest and slap his face back and forth until he was raging mad. In his anger we would have a great wrestling match. I don’t ever remember him winning while angry, and acting out in blind rage, but I sure had fun.  I said this to show that what I had seen in my father, and in others when anger was acted out.

This is why with all my strength I would hold all my anger in and let it turn to frustration and sadly to say some bitterness.  Both are equally bad, act out or hold it in.  For me holding it would cause a deep pain in my life and raised frustrations  with negative results in my attempts to achieve my life goals. I was a man of much pain and sorrow. Hating who I was, how I was raised, but at the same time passionately pursuing God and His calling on my life. This is where I was in my life that night I met with my accusers. I was hurting so bad on the inside yet so angry with what was being done. On top of that the spirit of God was leading me to hold my peace, when all that was in me wanted to make stand and defend myself. I wanted to fight?

As soon as the meeting started the accusations flew my direction, so fast that the President of the fellowship did not know what to say.  Before I knew it the person that was with me began to defend me. Then my pastor spoke up and said he may have believed I was wrong on my teachings but the rest was something He could not accept. He spoke up and vouched for my honesty and integrity. Then the President spoke up and said that if I was going to be the national youth director, and succeed in the fellowship I needed to do the right thing. Then the spirit let me speak and at that moment I knew what to say. I made one statement with just one question.  I said “you all have accused me of many things offering no proofs and scriptural foundation. You tell me to do the right thing, so could one of you please tell me what is the right thing according to the Word of God?” 

The room fell silent, no one had anything to say. The President finally spoke to me saying, he would be praying for me to do what was right. I spoke to those there that I was done and leaving and my wife and I turned and left the room. We both were silent in the car and upon arriving home began to ask what were we to do next. I think we both were so hurt and discouraged, but yet had some kind of determination to move forward. We could not change what had happened or the relationships that was forever changed. At times even today I grief a little over what was lost that night the years after that it impacted. If I let it, still today I get a little angry, yet God has done a work in me and He was already at work back then.

Continued next time