(Eph 4:26) Be angry, and do not sin. Do not let the sun go down upon your wrath,
I talked last time about giving healing time, I am in no way an expert, but let me ask a few questions and present a few thoughts about anger. I truly understand and believe that anger is a natural emotion given to us by God. Through out the Bible we see God himself displaying anger, There were men of God using anger to exact righteous judgments. When carefully reading the gospels we can see Jesus exercising this very emotion. With this in mind let me ask.
Is there good anger and bad? to answer this lets look a little closer to what Paul wrote to the Ephesian church.
Eph 4:23 and that ye be renewed in the spirit of your mind,:24 and put on the new man, that after God hath been created in righteousness and holiness of truth.:25 Wherefore, putting away falsehood, speak ye truth each one with his neighbor: for we are members one of another.:26 Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath::27 neither give place to the devil.:28 Let him that stole steal no more: but rather let him labor, working with his hands the thing that is good, that he may have whereof to give to him that hath need.:29 Let no corrupt speech proceed out of your mouth, but such as is good for edifying as the need may be, that it may give grace to them that hear.:30 And grieve not the Holy Spirit of God, in whom ye were sealed unto the day of redemption.:31 Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamor, and railing, be put away from you, with all malice::32 and be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving each other, even as God also in Christ forgave you.
In this setting Paul is dealing with the change that needs to take place in true believers. The key is, Paul telling us to have a changed attitude. In daily task we deal with people, family, and friends. We are met with at times disappointment, betrayal, hurts, and failed trust. We cannot change that in life. I cannot change the mind set or behavior of another person. When I was called to ministry, I was not called to change people. I was called to preach the gospel of the kingdom in truth. Then it it is up to those who hear to decide to change. What we are encouraged by Paul to do is how we respond to life's struggles after we become believers. Anger is good or bad, based on how we deal with it. What kind of anger do you have?
Do we dwell on it and let it turn into more than anger. In my own life, I have used anger to defend a cause. As I have mentioned before. I was bullied and picked on a lot growing up. It was anger that would give me strength to fight back at times, it became a part of how I saw others being treated and would often defended the weak and abused. In those moments, I had no malice or ill will towards those I rose up against. The event was over and I would not dwell on it. Now however there were times I did get angry and would let an event or person get to me. I would then dwell on it and at times did not handle it well.
Are we supposed to get rid of our anger, or forget certain life events? I remember talking to a fellow pastor some years ago about an event in my life. After sharing it with him, he proceeded to tell me, I had un-forgiveness and needed to forget about it. I often hear from ministries and church groups tell us the need to let our past go, but how can we really when God gave us this mind and it is full of memories good and bad. The past is a part of who we are and are the building blocks of our lives. One should not expect you to just forget past events in life. We should not let our past hold us captive, but should use those life events as tools and examples for learning. Like touching something hot should not bind us in fear but teach us how we need to handle what is hot, like using a hot pad next time.
Once again it is what we do with those events that makes our anger good or bad. What comes out of your mouth? How do you or I act in life events? Can we be angry and not have malice, use bad language, or grieve the holy spirit of God? I have often been told not to grieve the spirit, but I do not remember it being used in the context of anger. This is my opinion, I can not do anything about the events that have already happened to me. Yet I can do something about how I respond and deal with them. I do not believe God expects us to forget bad life events. Nor do I believe He expects us not to be angry. For me I think it would have been good to confront many things and people in one way or another.
Can we forgive without confronting? I do believe it can be done, but also believe it is much easier if we can confront the offender, To express our anger and feelings and then choose to forgive. Unfortunately we are not always afforded the opertunity. For me I have written letters and sent them, made phone calls and other times confronted the offender. Now keep in mind there is a biblical way of doing this. Then in my life it had to be in proxy when I dealt with things, or just had to turn certain people and memories over to Father God. I had to learn how to deal with my anger when I knew it was getting the better of me.
As I mentioned before, My Dad had an explosive temper when I was growing up. Looking back I know now the root of it all was anger. Our family life was so messed up and it would take months to explain it all. The thing I grew up knowing was I did not want to be like my father and it created a wall between us. It was not until I was married did I begin to understand, but by then the damage was done to both of us. This very ideal of refusing to be like my dad became a life long battle. It seemed to more I fought the ideal of his anger, the more I seemed to be like him. It effected my relationship with my wife in many ways. Early on I told her if she even treated me in any way like my mother treated my father, I was leaving. Then when it came to fights, early in our marriage I would get angry, then so I would not be like my father, I would just walk out on her. As we all know this did not solve anything, it made her feel rejected. I refused to let anger get to a point that I would lose control and have a temper.
I was in need of healing in many ways. The unfortunate thing about many of the ministers I knew and grew up with were never open about their own struggles and looking back were angry people as well. It is the statements they would make or how they talked about others, justifying their own speech and actions. It was after I began to pastor a church that I began to truly rely on God, and let him reveal to me where I was and start the healing. I will tell you this. It was not over night and it has come with set backs and victories. It is my desire in sharing this with you that you too will allow God to bring healing and change in your own life.
More next week.
Is there good anger and bad? to answer this lets look a little closer to what Paul wrote to the Ephesian church.
Eph 4:23 and that ye be renewed in the spirit of your mind,:24 and put on the new man, that after God hath been created in righteousness and holiness of truth.:25 Wherefore, putting away falsehood, speak ye truth each one with his neighbor: for we are members one of another.:26 Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath::27 neither give place to the devil.:28 Let him that stole steal no more: but rather let him labor, working with his hands the thing that is good, that he may have whereof to give to him that hath need.:29 Let no corrupt speech proceed out of your mouth, but such as is good for edifying as the need may be, that it may give grace to them that hear.:30 And grieve not the Holy Spirit of God, in whom ye were sealed unto the day of redemption.:31 Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamor, and railing, be put away from you, with all malice::32 and be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving each other, even as God also in Christ forgave you.
In this setting Paul is dealing with the change that needs to take place in true believers. The key is, Paul telling us to have a changed attitude. In daily task we deal with people, family, and friends. We are met with at times disappointment, betrayal, hurts, and failed trust. We cannot change that in life. I cannot change the mind set or behavior of another person. When I was called to ministry, I was not called to change people. I was called to preach the gospel of the kingdom in truth. Then it it is up to those who hear to decide to change. What we are encouraged by Paul to do is how we respond to life's struggles after we become believers. Anger is good or bad, based on how we deal with it. What kind of anger do you have?
Do we dwell on it and let it turn into more than anger. In my own life, I have used anger to defend a cause. As I have mentioned before. I was bullied and picked on a lot growing up. It was anger that would give me strength to fight back at times, it became a part of how I saw others being treated and would often defended the weak and abused. In those moments, I had no malice or ill will towards those I rose up against. The event was over and I would not dwell on it. Now however there were times I did get angry and would let an event or person get to me. I would then dwell on it and at times did not handle it well.
Are we supposed to get rid of our anger, or forget certain life events? I remember talking to a fellow pastor some years ago about an event in my life. After sharing it with him, he proceeded to tell me, I had un-forgiveness and needed to forget about it. I often hear from ministries and church groups tell us the need to let our past go, but how can we really when God gave us this mind and it is full of memories good and bad. The past is a part of who we are and are the building blocks of our lives. One should not expect you to just forget past events in life. We should not let our past hold us captive, but should use those life events as tools and examples for learning. Like touching something hot should not bind us in fear but teach us how we need to handle what is hot, like using a hot pad next time.
Once again it is what we do with those events that makes our anger good or bad. What comes out of your mouth? How do you or I act in life events? Can we be angry and not have malice, use bad language, or grieve the holy spirit of God? I have often been told not to grieve the spirit, but I do not remember it being used in the context of anger. This is my opinion, I can not do anything about the events that have already happened to me. Yet I can do something about how I respond and deal with them. I do not believe God expects us to forget bad life events. Nor do I believe He expects us not to be angry. For me I think it would have been good to confront many things and people in one way or another.
Can we forgive without confronting? I do believe it can be done, but also believe it is much easier if we can confront the offender, To express our anger and feelings and then choose to forgive. Unfortunately we are not always afforded the opertunity. For me I have written letters and sent them, made phone calls and other times confronted the offender. Now keep in mind there is a biblical way of doing this. Then in my life it had to be in proxy when I dealt with things, or just had to turn certain people and memories over to Father God. I had to learn how to deal with my anger when I knew it was getting the better of me.
As I mentioned before, My Dad had an explosive temper when I was growing up. Looking back I know now the root of it all was anger. Our family life was so messed up and it would take months to explain it all. The thing I grew up knowing was I did not want to be like my father and it created a wall between us. It was not until I was married did I begin to understand, but by then the damage was done to both of us. This very ideal of refusing to be like my dad became a life long battle. It seemed to more I fought the ideal of his anger, the more I seemed to be like him. It effected my relationship with my wife in many ways. Early on I told her if she even treated me in any way like my mother treated my father, I was leaving. Then when it came to fights, early in our marriage I would get angry, then so I would not be like my father, I would just walk out on her. As we all know this did not solve anything, it made her feel rejected. I refused to let anger get to a point that I would lose control and have a temper.
I was in need of healing in many ways. The unfortunate thing about many of the ministers I knew and grew up with were never open about their own struggles and looking back were angry people as well. It is the statements they would make or how they talked about others, justifying their own speech and actions. It was after I began to pastor a church that I began to truly rely on God, and let him reveal to me where I was and start the healing. I will tell you this. It was not over night and it has come with set backs and victories. It is my desire in sharing this with you that you too will allow God to bring healing and change in your own life.
More next week.
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